So I've had a wordpress for awhile now but I've never really done anything to it. I'm gonna start posting every things there but if things don't work out I'll come back here. It's really the same name but instead of .blogspot its .wordpress. Don't worry I wasn't planning on getting points for creativity haha.
moved!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Relationships
I've been meaning to write a post about the things that I've been feeling in regards to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. This post isn't a wishlist of what my relationship could've/would've/should've been, and neither is this post a definitive checklist for the achievement of the perfect relationship.
Rather this post is more about the insights and lessons that I've learned, realized, observed, and experienced from my relationships, friend's relationships, and visual media relationships through the past 24 and a half years living on the earth.
1) It should be known that there are right/wrong reasons to pursue a relationship, and there are right/wrong things to do in a relationship.
2) It should be known that both persons should refrain from using the "L" word. For a period of time, I started loathing the word "love" when hearing/seeing/reading it from other people after going through a long relationship which started in high school. It really begs the question of whether or not the people uttering the word really understand the meaning and all the implications of it. Myself included, I have made many promises and none of those which I can remember have I kept. All was said and made in the name of "love".
Recently a new TV series inadvertently gave me insight into the mind of women when they hear the phrase "I love you". Watching her facial expression when she heard the words was equivalent to the enlightenment age in Philosophy, a "oh I get it now..." moment, the light bulb on top of my head - you get the idea. If you're in a relationship and you haven't uttered the words, I encourage you to think about it thoroughly before you say it. If you're in a relationship and the words have been said, either from you, the other person, or both, unless you're on the course of or seriously thinking about marriage I'd have to say to prepare yourself for heartache - not because you lost someone you love but lost someone who can't fulfill your selfish needs.
3) It should be known that the words "I love you" is not glue for the relationship to continue to exist. In other words just like a car isn't/can't run on water, a relationship is not held together by the words "I love you"; actions precedes words.
4) It should be known that unless you're living in an area with a population of less than a couple thousand, 99.99% of high school relationships do not last. If you fit that .01% just mentioned I will only applaud and give credit if that relationship will last to the end (marriage) without the involvement of sexual intercourse.
5) It should be known that if you've been involved (meaning have the label of bf/gf) with multiple people within a short time frame (4 years - that's not long trust me), most likely you're not looking for love but for companionship. What is companionship? Well its to satisfy your biological needs physically whether by kissing, holding hands, or sex among other things not mentioned; or emotional needs such as making sure there's someone to make you feel like you're not alone in the world, or that person treating you well compared to other guys among other things not mentioned. Only being honest with yourself can you realize if you are solely looking for companionship than a life long partner.
6) It should be known that all the things above mentioned concerning what companionship is are selfish qualities that do not make up what a true relationship is. A genuine love relationship is about giving a lot more than it is about asking for, but not about giving into those selfish needs. The way to approach the relationship is to not get attached until you know that it has the potential to be your lifelong partner. If by mutual understanding and agreement it doesn't end up going all the way, then there isn't the danger of being attached or heartache.
7) It should be known that if you're not in the relationship with marriage in mind then why are you in the relationship anyway? It only follows that if you're not looking for a lifelong partner then companionship is the only other option. The only end result of companionship is separation and it should follow that there isn't any justification for feeling sad/depressed/upset/angry because the other person was in the relationship for the same reason you are. After all if you've been in multiple relationships within a short time frame, not that I'm encouraging the idea, but what is stopping you from getting involved with another person?
8) It should be known that if the current relationship isn't teaching you anything new, reminding you of the real meaning of love, changing you into someone better and not the same person as you were when the relationship started, then it is a sign that the relationship is not healthy for you, and it's probably not going to work out. Other signs that the relationship isn't going to work and just delaying the inevitable are constant arguments, physical touching, as a means of "assurance", and (but not limited to) the attachment.
9) It should be known that you'll know you are attached if you have what Usher calls, 'got it bad.' Getting attached is also evident if you start acting as if the relationship was going on 6 months when it really only has been 2 weeks.
10) It should be known that the perfect example of a true genuine relationship is the love that God has for us. God offers/offered blessings, sacrifice, mercy, patience, change, and (but certainly not limited to) promises. What more do you want in a relationship than with God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit)?
---------------------------------
Any questions or comments will be address in the following post. Thanks for reading.
Rather this post is more about the insights and lessons that I've learned, realized, observed, and experienced from my relationships, friend's relationships, and visual media relationships through the past 24 and a half years living on the earth.
1) It should be known that there are right/wrong reasons to pursue a relationship, and there are right/wrong things to do in a relationship.
2) It should be known that both persons should refrain from using the "L" word. For a period of time, I started loathing the word "love" when hearing/seeing/reading it from other people after going through a long relationship which started in high school. It really begs the question of whether or not the people uttering the word really understand the meaning and all the implications of it. Myself included, I have made many promises and none of those which I can remember have I kept. All was said and made in the name of "love".
Recently a new TV series inadvertently gave me insight into the mind of women when they hear the phrase "I love you". Watching her facial expression when she heard the words was equivalent to the enlightenment age in Philosophy, a "oh I get it now..." moment, the light bulb on top of my head - you get the idea. If you're in a relationship and you haven't uttered the words, I encourage you to think about it thoroughly before you say it. If you're in a relationship and the words have been said, either from you, the other person, or both, unless you're on the course of or seriously thinking about marriage I'd have to say to prepare yourself for heartache - not because you lost someone you love but lost someone who can't fulfill your selfish needs.
3) It should be known that the words "I love you" is not glue for the relationship to continue to exist. In other words just like a car isn't/can't run on water, a relationship is not held together by the words "I love you"; actions precedes words.
4) It should be known that unless you're living in an area with a population of less than a couple thousand, 99.99% of high school relationships do not last. If you fit that .01% just mentioned I will only applaud and give credit if that relationship will last to the end (marriage) without the involvement of sexual intercourse.
5) It should be known that if you've been involved (meaning have the label of bf/gf) with multiple people within a short time frame (4 years - that's not long trust me), most likely you're not looking for love but for companionship. What is companionship? Well its to satisfy your biological needs physically whether by kissing, holding hands, or sex among other things not mentioned; or emotional needs such as making sure there's someone to make you feel like you're not alone in the world, or that person treating you well compared to other guys among other things not mentioned. Only being honest with yourself can you realize if you are solely looking for companionship than a life long partner.
6) It should be known that all the things above mentioned concerning what companionship is are selfish qualities that do not make up what a true relationship is. A genuine love relationship is about giving a lot more than it is about asking for, but not about giving into those selfish needs. The way to approach the relationship is to not get attached until you know that it has the potential to be your lifelong partner. If by mutual understanding and agreement it doesn't end up going all the way, then there isn't the danger of being attached or heartache.
7) It should be known that if you're not in the relationship with marriage in mind then why are you in the relationship anyway? It only follows that if you're not looking for a lifelong partner then companionship is the only other option. The only end result of companionship is separation and it should follow that there isn't any justification for feeling sad/depressed/upset/angry because the other person was in the relationship for the same reason you are. After all if you've been in multiple relationships within a short time frame, not that I'm encouraging the idea, but what is stopping you from getting involved with another person?
8) It should be known that if the current relationship isn't teaching you anything new, reminding you of the real meaning of love, changing you into someone better and not the same person as you were when the relationship started, then it is a sign that the relationship is not healthy for you, and it's probably not going to work out. Other signs that the relationship isn't going to work and just delaying the inevitable are constant arguments, physical touching, as a means of "assurance", and (but not limited to) the attachment.
9) It should be known that you'll know you are attached if you have what Usher calls, 'got it bad.' Getting attached is also evident if you start acting as if the relationship was going on 6 months when it really only has been 2 weeks.
10) It should be known that the perfect example of a true genuine relationship is the love that God has for us. God offers/offered blessings, sacrifice, mercy, patience, change, and (but certainly not limited to) promises. What more do you want in a relationship than with God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit)?
---------------------------------
Any questions or comments will be address in the following post. Thanks for reading.
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